I’ve been uncovering a massive shadow side along the journey of “accessing my highest potential.”
With this almost obsessive orientation towards “expansion,” I’ve been subtly telling myself..
...I am never enough exactly as I am...
I want you to explore yourself, inside and out.
I want you to get intimate with your own shadow, just as much as your own light.
I want you to know yourself so wholly that no aspect of you is unseen.
Underneath my exuberant belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, I doubted whether what I sought was attainable at all. I had moments where I wondered if I was doing something wrong.. I felt like perhaps I had not been deemed worthy of the eternal embrace.
I felt I had to do more to prove myself.
If you listen closely enough, I'm betting you'll find that what you thought was you falling off your path is actually life redirecting you, providing you valuable lessons you wouldn't have had otherwise.
I'm guessing that when you keep going, you'll look back and realize that the Universe was quietly preparing you to find your purpose & fulfill your mission
What living with Lyme has taught me more than anything else is how to have deep gratitude for this human experience. It has taught me to enjoy the little moments, both the ones filled with light and the ones filled with pain, because no matter how shitty the moment may feel, it's just an experience and at some point, eventually, there will be something else to experience. It has taught me that the only constant in life is change, and that instead of pushing against what is happening, I can surrender and choose to learn from it instead.
I'm finding more and more through personal experiences that there is nothing wrong with sitting at that crossroad for a moment instead of flying down the first road that someone says leads to a better future, happiness, or success. Rather, take that moment of stillness to listen to your instincts, you heart, and your body.
With immense love, I am telling you from my heart: Your shadow does not degrade your existence. Rather, your shadow confirms your human existence. You are a feeling human. The duality of nature, creation and destruction, are found within the human spirit. Without one, the other cannot be present.
We must embrace the Shadow to which our existence is intimately paired. For you are a divine, multidimensional being- why cut yourself short of living in all the depth of your experiences?
Fear is the opposite of love. It is a dangerous tool that creates a prison of the mind in which we can get caught and locked up for many years. Fear that I was not enough, that I was not worthy of love, led me to build walls around my heart, barring me from enjoying healthy relationships. It also led me to create a contract with alcohol that allowed me to dissociate from myself when I drank in order to escape having to deal with the pain that had been building up over the years.
