I’ve been uncovering a massive shadow side along the journey of “accessing my highest potential.”
With this almost obsessive orientation towards “expansion,” I’ve been subtly telling myself..
...I am never enough exactly as I am...
I want you to explore yourself, inside and out.
I want you to get intimate with your own shadow, just as much as your own light.
I want you to know yourself so wholly that no aspect of you is unseen.
Underneath my exuberant belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, I doubted whether what I sought was attainable at all. I had moments where I wondered if I was doing something wrong.. I felt like perhaps I had not been deemed worthy of the eternal embrace.
I felt I had to do more to prove myself.
If you listen closely enough, I'm betting you'll find that what you thought was you falling off your path is actually life redirecting you, providing you valuable lessons you wouldn't have had otherwise.
I'm guessing that when you keep going, you'll look back and realize that the Universe was quietly preparing you to find your purpose & fulfill your mission
What living with Lyme has taught me more than anything else is how to have deep gratitude for this human experience. It has taught me to enjoy the little moments, both the ones filled with light and the ones filled with pain, because no matter how shitty the moment may feel, it's just an experience and at some point, eventually, there will be something else to experience. It has taught me that the only constant in life is change, and that instead of pushing against what is happening, I can surrender and choose to learn from it instead.
Some people ask me, "Why so many ceremonies? Why do you keep going back for more?" Having had 32 ceremonies now, I can say that what I was shown early on in my journey with the medicine is an absolute truth-- that I am being called by the plants to do this work, that this symbiotic relationship is somehow deeply interwoven into my destiny on this planet.
On this day last year, I boarded a plane traveling to Peru for the adventure of a lifetime after recognizing a series of synchronistic events that were very obviously guiding me in that direction. The only plan I made was to spend one month at an ayahuasca healing center deep in the Amazon rainforest, since my intuition was telling me not to make plans for afterwards. I felt called to let go of my need for certainty, to let go of my desire to have a plan, to trust that there was a divine plan that the universe was orchestrating on my behalf.
Each year, thousands of people are leaving the comfort of their homes and traveling to remote parts of South America to take part in an ancient healing ceremony with a psychedelic plant medicine known as Ayahuasca. Most who dare to take the journey are seeking some sort of healing, whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual. But many people are skeptical about the efficacy of this supposed medicine, and still others are concerned about the safety of the whole experience.
I’m here to share a bit about my experience of living deep in the Amazon jungle for six months and participating in 25 ayahuasca ceremonies.
