What living with Lyme has taught me more than anything else is how to have deep gratitude for this human experience. It has taught me to enjoy the little moments, both the ones filled with light and the ones filled with pain, because no matter how shitty the moment may feel, it's just an experience and at some point, eventually, there will be something else to experience. It has taught me that the only constant in life is change, and that instead of pushing against what is happening, I can surrender and choose to learn from it instead.
What you don’t see is that while on one hand I’m grateful to everything I’ve learned through having an invisible chronic illness, it sucks. It really fucking sucks. And some days, all I can do is cry my eyes out to ease the weight that I carry around in my heart, trusting that tomorrow will be lighter and I can get back to living..
Last weekend I was nominated on Facebook for the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
Then, when my friend nominated me, I found myself with a whole lot of resistance to participate in this campaign. It wasn’t that I don’t believe in raising awareness about chronic illnesses (anyone who knows my personal story know’s I’ll talk about my experiences freely to educate and enlighten others). It wasn’t even about not wanting to pour ice cold water on myself (I’ve been known to take a 10 minute ice bath after rigorous workouts).
So, I found myself wondering, “Where was this resistance coming from?” I decided to give myself the space to sit with it and figure out the root cause of this before I even considered participating in the challenge.