Last weekend, I spent three days learning and growing with a group of 25 beautiful women training to become birth doulas. We all came from different backgrounds and each with our own set of life experiences and world views. The thing we all shared was the belief that birth is a process that is both natural and sacred. It was amazing to be surrounded by a group of women standing in their power and connecting with their femininity while sharing personal experiences with a group of near strangers. The feelings of sisterhood that I felt towards those women was one of the most connected experiences I've ever had. Laughing together, crying together, being unapologetically ourselves... Together.
Every one of us on this planet came into the world through a personal birth experience that not only influenced our lives, but the also the lives of everyone around us. Parents, siblings, relatives; each one of their life experiences was altered in one way or another by your entrance into the world.
In our society, we've collectively forgotten the beauty and sacredness of the process and experience of conception, pregnancy, and birth. We've forgotten that incarnation into the human form is not an accident, it is a gift that allows us to co-create with the universe itself. We've disconnected from our intuitive knowing that all life is sacred and that a mysterious force is guiding it's unfolding.
This weekend was not just a career training for me, it was also deeply healing and transformative. After my time in Peru working with ayahuasca, I learned the depth of the energetic imprint that can be left with us from our birthing experience. Personally, I had a series of events happen during that time; everything from ancestral trauma being passed down my maternal line, taking on my parent's emotional pain, and losing my twin at around 6 weeks when my mom thought she was miscarrying me.
Many people think that babies can't remember anything before a few years of age, but this is simply not true. From the moment of conception our energetic blueprint is being formed, laying out the plan for our future experiences. We may not remember them consciously, but you can bet they're playing out in one way or another unconsciously.
An example, losing my twin unexpectedly has impacted my life in more ways than I'm sure I even recognize now. I've always had the feeling of being abandoned and like a part of myself is missing. My parents didn't know this had happened, as they thought it was just some random bleeding, so when I learned of my twin in an ayahuasca ceremony, a lot of pieces of my life that I'd always questioned began falling into place. Not everyone lost a twin, but we all took on different energies from our parents and environment that still influence us today.
I started on this path to becoming a doula a few years ago, when I realized that children are pure spirits whose life experiences are significantly influenced in one direction or another by their parents actions and choices. Most parents are playing out unconscious patterns from their own childhood, passing on unhealed trauma to their children, generation after generation. I vowed that I would clean up as much of my own stuff as consciously possible before bringing a new life into the world. And this is why I decided to become a doula, to guide others to do the same.
A doula is a professional birth attendant who provides information, guidance, and support during pregnancy and birth while facilitating communication between care providers and the parents. I can see now how my whole life has prepared me for this role; to combine my education in nutrition, yoga, and coaching with my personal experiences of healing from illness, childhood trauma, and sexual abuse to create a significant spiritual healing experience for my clients and their future children.
The biggest take away from this weekend was a greater appreciation for my parents and the role they've played in my life. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today, both the good and the bad. I have started to integrate what I learned in Peru: that I can continue blaming them for what I'm experiencing now, or I can recognize that they were doing the best they could from their level of awareness, and that I can choose to forgive them. The old saying, "forgiveness isn't for them, it's for you" is truer in our relationship with our parents than anywhere else.
No matter your current relationship with your parents, if you can find the place within yourself that can see them for the wounded child that is still a part of them, everything will begin to shift.
Let's start a conversation. Comment below to tell me what you know about your personal birth experience and how you think it's influenced your life. I look forward to hearing from you!