I’m looking at myself in the mirror this morning and I love what I see.
My face is soft, my eyes are bright and..I think I’m glowing.
I feel incredibly proud of where I’m at in this moment.
I look amazing for a woman who’s been in the jungle for the last couple of years.
When I say jungle, I’m not talking about the beautiful amazon. I’m talking about the full blown experience called life.
I’ve been high up in the trees, celebrating the beauty of my path and I’ve been face down on the ground and in the dirt. Left picking up the pieces of yet another experience of loss or creation.
2 years ago I decided to trust bigger.
I did this by taking a leap of faith from my comfortable job with a permanent contract, toward my true mission: helping others remembering their light, their core, their life’s mission here on earth.
Many people say it was a brave thing to do. And I can see that. Although for me, it wasn’t a step I took. It was something I was led to do, because my life depended on it.
At first, I was scared of the unknown and tried to stay put in my safe job. But it felt my heart and body wouldn’t let me. There was no way I could stay in my old frame of mind of heart and make it out alive..I literally felt like there were strings pulling me into a new reality. I needed to break free from my old mould. The path I took led me to being a coach and trainer for the last two years. A courageous and scared one.
As I grew within, I kept searching for a safe haven outside of myself. Scared I wouldn’t make it just being me. Searching for someone who would tell me I was doing the right thing. Someone who would take me under his or her wing. I felt my sacred fire burning inside of me, but at the same time I looked outside and doubted my power.
I was still often trying to make things happen, instead of working from flow. Working from essence and with Spirit. I did a wonderful job, I realize now that most people would’ve given up after 2 years of searching in the jungle. But I didn’t.
Until spring this year. I had a huge meltdown when another so-called external lifesaver (in the form of a coaching-program for entrepreneurs I was interested in) fell through.
I cried. I cried for 5 hours. There was no stopping. The message that came through? It was time to let go. On a much deeper level than ever before. My ego was tired of resisting and had to surrender.
It was time to let go of who I was in that moment, of who I thought I had to become. To let go of my mission and how I thought my mission should look like. Up until then I had done a bunch of spiritual growth and it felt like it was time to surrender to my spirit, to the Source. Let my Self melt totally. Like a caterpillar that melts to go inside of it’s cocoon.
In the last 6 months, I’ve had a big clean up. I removed people and chords from my life that were no longer serving my light. I’m in the last phase of healing my chords with my parents. I just sat down witnessed what would come to me. It wasn’t easy, I got up and fell into old patterns for very short amounts of time. What mattered was, that I was aware. Then I just cried, or giggled and sit back down.
With healing, loving and resting; my channel to Spirit opened wider. It got cleansed through tears, anger and forgiving and loving myself. I started seeing angels and spirits again. And I started teaming up with them whenever I had friends or clients coming to me for support or guidance. I got to experience deeply what it’s like to find safety and acceptance within myself. No longer looking out, but a deeper knowing and experience within.
My mission is still the same. The journey of my mission just got enriched. My acceptance and embrace of the connection with the spiritual realm are in truth the acceptance and embracing of myself. After all, we are all one. The work I do know is lighter, brighter, liberating. For both me and my clients. And you know what, I fully came out of the spiritual closet a couple of weeks ago and the flow of abundance is evident.
By saying YES to me, my attractiveness has apparently gone through the roof.
Taking care of yourself is a big service to not only you but to the world. You accept that you are of value, when you love yourself up, and from that love and trust in your value, great things can happen. Trust me. I’m here. Now. What lies ahead is love, radiance, playfulness and numerous ways for me to share my wisdom and connection with the Source.