Photograph by Jonathan Kessler
I've always struggled with self-image issues. Growing up, I'd receive comments about being "so skinny" or "so pale." These comments usually didn't come from people intending to do me harm, but the impact of their words left a deep imprint on the way I viewed myself. I was always "too much" of this, or "not enough" of that (hello, AA boobs!), and the result has been that I ended up feeling like who I am physically is fundamentally wrong. This led to years of depression, abusive relationships, eating disorders, cutting, drug use, and promiscuity. I treated my body like it didn't matter, because in my conditioned mind, the self-perceived flaws made me worthless.
Since I shaved my head 5 months ago, I've been directly facing some of my deepest insecurities around my physical form. Yeah yeah, I know.. We're all spiritual beings and the physical is just an illusion, yada yada..
AND while I do believe that perspective about life on a very deep level, walking around as though our body's don't matter because we're all just energy can lead to another form of self-hate because of a twisted dissociation from our humanness. We can begin to see the body and the material realm as "less than," which can lead to some pretty fucked up spiritual bypassing.
Now I'm not saying that the ideals the fashion & advertising industries put on us are true. What I'm coming to understand about self image and the journey of radical self-love is this:
We are human. We have a body, and we have a body for a reason. We're here to enjoy and love up this amazing body we've been given, not to run away from it.
What we believe about our bodies directly affects our experience in life. Those beliefs influence how we move throughout the world-- physically and energetically. We either show up with gratitude and honor, or hate and self-loathing.
It's time for us to begin falling in love with our bodies. Not in an egoic, narcissistic way, but from a space that is honoring the miracle of the vessel that your soul gets to use to explore all the beauty of the material realms.
On this Sunday, I invite you to take some time to consciously practice radical self love and honoring of the body that you have been given despite its shape, size, or color. Accept yourself for who you are, exactly as you are, and see what comes.
And thank you, to the stranger who stopped me on the street in Brooklyn yesterday who asked to take this photo. You seeing the beauty in me has helped me to see it as well. I love you ππ»
