Since arriving back to the States four days ago, I've been contemplating how to explain a life-changing event that occurred while I was in Peru. I've decided that it's best to be completely honest, so here it is:
On the evening of November 9th, I entered into my 14th ayahuasca ceremony, not knowing that this one night would forever change my experience in this life.
After a rather slow start, I realized this was the night I would fully step into my new identity (which I was shown would happen during my 6th ceremony). I had been doing a lot of work in previous ceremonies cleaning out old energies that were no longer serving me, and tonight was about fully releasing the old to make room for the new.
I spent a long time going through all the emotions that come with letting go of something you've spent a long time with; sadness, grief, fear, excitement, etc. When I had moved through all of that, I entered into the most beautiful, blissful encounter I've ever experienced: I came face to face with my higher self, my soul, and with the Universe itself.
During this time, I was told that "Casie" is not who I really am; that the name my soul wants to be called is "Aurianna."
This totally resonated with me, since I have never felt at home in the name Casie, it just never fit me. The moment I heard my true name, I knew: THIS is who I am, this is ME. I was filled with a new sense of being, of purpose in this world. I understood on a deeper level than ever before exactly why I am here and what I came to do.
For the first time that I can remember, I felt no pain or stiffness at all from the Lyme disease. I felt a lightness throughout my body, a freedom that can't be explained in words. I spent the rest of the night playing in my "new" body, just wanting to get up and dance in the middle of ceremony (but I didn't so as not disturb others!).
The next morning I was vibrating so high, I was so connected to everything. Everything was clear; my mind, my vision, my heart. I knew that everything was perfect; everything that ever was or will be is exactly as it should be, exactly as it needs to be. At breakfast that morning, I proudly introduced myself as Aurianna, which is what people have been calling me ever since.
In the two months since I first connected with my higher self, Aurianna, I've gone through all kinds of emotions surrounding being called "Casie." Everything from completely shunning the name and identity to being totally at peace with it. Here's where I stand now:
Casie is a part of Aurianna, a part of me, but not the whole expression of who I really am. I feel like Aurianna better describes me holistically; my ego, my spirit, my soul, and everything in between. To me, Aurianna represents not only the shy, insecure, little girl I went into the jungle as, but also the divine feminine Goddess I connected with while I was there, and now I know this is who I really am. From now on I will be introducing myself as Aurianna, which is why I've decided to change my name on Facebook and my blog.
As my friends and family, I realize that it may be a bit strange to call me by a new name, which is why I'm perfectly ok with you continuing to call me Casie. I'll use this as a reminder of where I came from, and how far I've come in such a short amount of time. If, by chance, you do feel comfortable calling me by my new name, that's great, too! Whatever works for you, works for me :)
Thank you all for your understanding, love, and support!