What living with Lyme has taught me more than anything else is how to have deep gratitude for this human experience. It has taught me to enjoy the little moments, both the ones filled with light and the ones filled with pain, because no matter how shitty the moment may feel, it's just an experience and at some point, eventually, there will be something else to experience. It has taught me that the only constant in life is change, and that instead of pushing against what is happening, I can surrender and choose to learn from it instead.
As women in this world, we are often shamed for allowing this aspect of ourselves to be seen outside of the bedroom. We're expected to behave according to some twisted patriarchal idea of what it means to 'act like a lady', and then instantly turn on our inner sex kitten when the time comes.
We're taught that we need to keep a rein on our urges, to cover up our bodies, and to sit pretty until we're told what to do.
What you don’t see is that while on one hand I’m grateful to everything I’ve learned through having an invisible chronic illness, it sucks. It really fucking sucks. And some days, all I can do is cry my eyes out to ease the weight that I carry around in my heart, trusting that tomorrow will be lighter and I can get back to living..