LATEST MUSINGS FROM MY MIND
Underneath my exuberant belief that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, I doubted whether what I sought was attainable at all. I had moments where I wondered if I was doing something wrong.. I felt like perhaps I had not been deemed worthy of the eternal embrace.
I felt I had to do more to prove myself.
If you listen closely enough, I'm betting you'll find that what you thought was you falling off your path is actually life redirecting you, providing you valuable lessons you wouldn't have had otherwise.
I'm guessing that when you keep going, you'll look back and realize that the Universe was quietly preparing you to find your purpose & fulfill your mission
What living with Lyme has taught me more than anything else is how to have deep gratitude for this human experience. It has taught me to enjoy the little moments, both the ones filled with light and the ones filled with pain, because no matter how shitty the moment may feel, it's just an experience and at some point, eventually, there will be something else to experience. It has taught me that the only constant in life is change, and that instead of pushing against what is happening, I can surrender and choose to learn from it instead.
When we begin to embrace all the parts of our inner selves that seem conflicting-- the feminine/masculine, ambitious/lazy, giving/selfish, kind/angry, empowered/weak, brave/fearful, confident/doubtful parts of ourselves-- we begin to realize that the shadow aspects of our personality are just as valid and useful as the light ones. Each part of us has its place.
As women in this world, we are often shamed for allowing this aspect of ourselves to be seen outside of the bedroom. We're expected to behave according to some twisted patriarchal idea of what it means to 'act like a lady', and then instantly turn on our inner sex kitten when the time comes.
We're taught that we need to keep a rein on our urges, to cover up our bodies, and to sit pretty until we're told what to do.
What you don’t see is that while on one hand I’m grateful to everything I’ve learned through having an invisible chronic illness, it sucks. It really fucking sucks. And some days, all I can do is cry my eyes out to ease the weight that I carry around in my heart, trusting that tomorrow will be lighter and I can get back to living..
Coaches help you to gain a new perspective so that you can face life's challenges feeling empowered and inspired to create breakthroughs in your life. We're professionally trained to support you as you learn to accelerate through life's challenges. Working with a coach is not therapy. It's a completely different dimension of personal development. It's having someone in your corner, cheering you on and giving you the hard love that you sometimes may not want to hear but is necessary for your growth.
When you release what's no longer in alignment with your highest good, you'll feel free. You may feel a bit lost too, being without that thing you've held onto for so long, but feeling lost is an indicator that you're doing things your own way.
Humble yourself. Begin to pray. Ask for guidance. Keep your mind focused on "What's next?" and life will begin to reveal it for you.
I used to use men to fill the void that I was feeling within myself. I used to spend so much energy trying to find a guy to spend the night with. I used to feel incomplete without a guy by my side. I used to dread being alone.
I used to focus all of my attention on how I looked, because men were watching. I used to gossip with my girlfriends about the men in our lives, rolling our eyes at how all men are the same. I used to think that if only I found the perfect man, then everything in my life would be perfect...
Since I shaved my head 5 months ago, I've been directly facing some of my deepest insecurities around my physical form. Yeah yeah, I know.. We're all spiritual beings and the physical is just an illusion, yada yada.. AND while I do believe that perspective about life on a very deep level, walking around as though our body's don't matter because we're all just energy can lead to another form of self-hate because of a twisted dissociation from our humanness. We can begin to see the body and the material realm as "less than," which can lead to some pretty fucked up spiritual bypassing.
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